Youtube video on this topic can be found here.
I don’t need to look very far to see the gift that social media has been to my life. I have found community, spent hours reading about history and learning new creative disciplines. I learned to knit online. Every day that I scroll instagram, youtube, or the websites of other creators I am bathed in inspiration. At this point in my life, I don’t know who I would be without the influence of the internet and social media. My adolescence was spent online. I even developed my relationship with my husband through email and video chat. Still- this place is overflowing. Every day, every hour, white rushing waters of joyful news, tragedy, opposing commentaries on every possible topic, drama of every conceivable sort, peaceful mountain views, and acquaintances drinking their morning coffees. It is an unnatural amount of input.
Regardless of the nature of that input, whether it’s positive or negative, it is a lot. As someone who sees herself as an introvert and sensitive person, I can find myself being pulled under and along, tirelessly treading. I know I’m not the only one who feels this way. There were times in the last year and a half, maybe more, where I had spikes of anxiety that I think were directly related to my digital consumption. I would read the news and get overwhelmed with sadness, anger, fear, for myself, for others, for the world at large. In an effort to save my sanity, I began culling the input by unfollowing or silencing the social media voices that were the most volatile (or even just opinionated). I created a new instagram account where I only posted and followed inspiring content. That helped. There was much less (almost none) of the volatility I had been consuming previously, and I loved discovering new ways of crafting, new knitting patterns, new artists. I feasted on the beauty of my instagram feed, a steady diet of fresh youtube videos, and curated pages of recipes. I’d pick up my phone every spare minute I had. When I waited in any sort of office, or in the car, or for public transport, or in line at the supermarket, or for the kettle to boil; I was online. When I got up the middle of the night to feed my baby I was scrolling social media. Often I would sit down and start scrolling and the time would get away from me, and though I had eaten up dozens of beautiful images and creative ideas, I was left hungry. Hungry for new yarn, new materials, something new on the needles or fresh in the oven. A part of that is indeed, inspiration. I felt moved by many things, some enough for them to spark a deep desire to create in me, but desiring so many things lessens the desire for each of those things individually. In the wake of seeing so much to pike my creativity, I was left feeling sucked of motivation to work on the baskets full of ongoing projects I already had.
It is no secret that social media is essentially a marketing machine. It exists to make us want things (to make us buy things). To present itself as a buffet of perfectly tailored-to-us images, to give us the sensation of a feast while we watch or scroll or click, but then to leave us itching for more when we leave. It is manufactured to convince us that we are unsatisfied, and to offer itself as the only remedy. It’s a trap. We know that.
In the last few months I have seen numerous friends and creators step away from social media. Some completely, others from only one platform. Each time I have seen that happen, I have understood and watched in admiration. I am always fascinated by (and in awe of) those who choose to step away, especially when they have invested so much and created community on portals like instagram and youtube. Each time, I feel an urge to go with them. I am sure that it would open my world, but I have resisted going all the way. Every year I take about a month off of instagram and/or youtube, but it wasn’t until a few short months ago that I began thinking seriously about my social media use and the web in which it had entrapped me. I needed a way to get away, but I knew there would be things I’d miss.
Chances are, dear reader, that you and I found each other through social media and I am so glad that we did. I love to see other’s work and I love to share mine. I love to converse about the things that bring me joy. Being part of a global community truly enriches my life. Social media is the spice of my creative existence. It flavours everything I make and do, but too much ruins the meal. I wanted, needed, a way to sprinkle it.
Where did I find my first solution? You guessed it: social media. A theological writer and teacher I follow, Phylicia Masonheimer, shared that she deletes her instagram app regularly (every evening, I believe). Brilliant. Scary. I know many people would be wary of that. It can seem like such a big undertaking to delete, then re-download, then re-login. An extra five minutes is a lot in the digital world (!) and what if you miss notifications (!?) but I have found the benefits far outweigh the extra effort and risk of missing out (those notifications aren’t going anywhere).
I have experimented the last few months and have found four methods for creating boundaries around social media. This list is specifically related to instagram and youtube because those are the social media platforms that I use, but I believe it could apply to any platform.
Method One: Business Days
Creating “business days” for social media is nearly self explanatory. Choose a couple of days a week on which you will download social media apps and/or go on youtube. On these days you download the apps and they are available to you full time. You receive notifications as they come and respond to them as you see fit- you’re “open for buisness” so to speak. On your “closed” days, social media apps are deleted, out of sight, out of mind completely and/or you don’t log in online. My description may sound cheesy but seeing it like a business or external entity has helped me so much! Alternatively you could have a default of “open” days and choose one or two days a week (or fortnight, or month) to “take off”. That would be an easy way to transition if you are just looking for short pauses from social media. I have found that keeping my default state social media free, and downloading for online as the sort of exception (about 3 days a week) has helped me disconnect.
Method Two: Business Hours
This method is similar to first, but business hours are created rather than days. You create a system in which you “clock-in” and “clock-out”. For example- you could download apps around lunchtime and delete them again after dinner or before you quiet down for your evening. This method might include regularly taking a day or two off of social media entirely as well. It’s good for those of us who like to stay up to date on temporary social media communications (such as instagram stories) while still limiting it to certain times of day.
Method Three: Timer Apps
This is the least invasive method, as it doesn’t require deleting and re-downloading apps on your phone. There are other apps available on the market that can help you limit your social media use. Some of those app options: Freedom, StayFocused, RescueTime, OffTime, Moment, BreakFree, and Flippd. Some of these are more strict than others in blocking general phone, browser, and social media use. I have used StayFocused as a browser extension on my computer for years and really like it!
METHOD FOUR: TECHNOLOGY FREE ZONES
You may already have areas in your home or life that are “technology” or at least “social media” free. Work may be a natural one. When working as a teacher, my phone was naturally locked away during the day. I had no impulse or desire for that technology, and taking out my phone (on any time other than on breaks in the teacher’s lounge) would have been inappropriate at the school I worked at. Working from home changed things for me though. Those externally imposed boundaries disappeared. I could pull out my phone and scroll Instagram for a few minutes, or even watch a youtube video for a break. In some ways it was nice to have that, it gave my day a much more laid back ambiance. Now that I’m working only part time from home, and spending the rest of my time as a mother and homemaker even more opportunities seem to present themselves for social media consumption. Thankfully there are a few times and places in our day which we have unconsciously kept technology free. Meal times is one of them. This was not conscious, and I’m sure for many of you it is the same, but technology is left out of our meal times. The time shared at the table with each other and with our food makes for a mindful pause in the flow of our day. Another “zone” which is technology/social media free for many people is their bedroom. Leaving social media out of the room can allow space for a more gentle transition into sleep. This is one space that we are wanting to implement in our home as well. Any room or space in the day could be made into a technology free zone. Look to where you might be using social media in a way that takes from other tasks you’d like to accomplish or where you’d like to experience more present time. Maybe you’ve been meaning to read for half an hour that’s during your afternoon cup of coffee. Mentally eliminating the option of social media might provide the space you need to open a book in that time.
My current regimen is a hybrid of all of these, with relatively consistent business days. I take at least one weekend day off completely for social media and two – four during the week. I love to catch up on comments, stories, posts, and videos when I return, but I don’t miss anything while I’m offline. It is always special to share on those days that I’m online, and to just soak in the moment of whatever I’m doing when I’m not. The relationship I am developing with social media through these boundaries has been transformative for me. If you have methods of interacting with social media in a more limited way, please do share them with me! I’d love some new ideas.
Merryweather Living 